I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
