Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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