Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
