And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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