nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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