i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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