Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
