Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
