just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize