babies were throwing up all over the place
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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