I'm drive I can fine osifer
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
40s are totally the cure
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
