____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I just shit out all my problems.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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