Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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