he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
