I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
