...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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