so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize