I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
