she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
