Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
