Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
