I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
handjob tips. give me some.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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