yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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