I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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