so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His hands were made for my vagina.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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