Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
