My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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