Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Drunk is not a location!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
