Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just sucked dick on a ferry
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
