Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
