he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
