You can't special order awesome
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
