So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize