just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
