DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
