I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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