i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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