butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
