dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
