Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
