He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
