She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
