My brain says no but my pants say off.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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