508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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