watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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