I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
