I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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