I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize