haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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