btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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