sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
