I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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