Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
