dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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