32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
