im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
