just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
