So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
