have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize