Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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