he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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